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I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all it's students!

Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.

Seen on a woman's car: "Men call us birds: We pick up worms".

Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?

Lord help me to be the person my dog thinks I am.

If God didn't want us to eat animals why did he make them out of meat?

If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.

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QUESTION: You were there until the time you left, is that true?

Actually Asked In Court

QUESTION: How many times have you committed suicide?

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