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Don't Step On A Duck
Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven...don't step on the ducks."
So they entered heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they tried their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.
Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St.Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!"
The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck, and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing, and with him is another extremely ugly man.
He chains them together with the same reason as for the first woman.
The third woman listens to all of this and not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps.
She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on... very tall, tanned and muscular.
St. Peter chains them together and leaves without saying a word. The woman remarks, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?"
The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck."
Another From The Funny Jokes Vault:
Please Check Me Out
A woman rushes into the foyer of a large hotel and sprints up to the reception desk. Seeing that the only member of staff is talking on the phone, she hammers on the bell for service. The receptionist slowly puts down the phone.
"Yes?" he says warily.
"I'm in a frightful hurry, could you check me out please?"
The clerk stares at her for a second and then looks her up and down. "Not bad", he smiles. "Not bad at all!"