Short Dirty Jokes
70 Year Old and His 25-Year Old Bride
The 70-year old groom and the 25-year old bride attracted raised eyebrow attention as they checked into the resort hotel.
Next morning at eight sharp, the groom came into the dining room whistling a gay tune, sat down at a table and ordered ham and eggs. The smile on his face and the twinkle in his eye told everybody present that he was happy and confident.
Fifteen minutes later the young bride slowly trudged into the dining room and seated herself across from her 70-year old. Her face was drawn and her voice weak as she ordered toast and coffee.
The groom, now finished, excused himself and strolled into the lobby for his morning cigar. As the waitress approached with the bride's toast and coffee, she said, "Honey, I don't understand it. Here you are a young bride with an old husband, looking like you've encountered a buzz saw."
"That guy," said the bride, "double crossed me. He told me he saved up for 60 years and I thought he was talking about money!"
The Genie With Bad Hearing
Two men were out fishing when one decides to have a smoke.
Joe asks the Gary if he has a lighter.
Gary replies, "Yes i do," and hands the Joe a 10 inch long BIC lighter.
Surprised, Joe asks, "Where did you get this?"
Gary replies, "Oh I have a personal genie."
Joe asks, "Can I make a wish?"
"Sure," says Gary, "But, note, the genie is a little hard at hearing."
"Ok." says Joe. As he rubs the lamp, a genie appears and asks the man what he wants.
Joe says, "I want a million bucks."
The genie says OK and goes back to his bottle. 10 seconds later a million ducks fly over head.
Joe says to Gary, "Your genie realy sucks at hearing doesnt he?"
Gary replies, "I know! Do you really think i asked for a 10 inch BIC?"