Dirty Short Jokes
Three men and a woman are sitting at a bar talking about their professions.
The first guy says: "I'd describe myself as a Y.U.P.P.I.E. -- you know ... Young, Urban, Professional, Peaceful, Intelligent, Ecologist."
The next chap says: "Oh, I'm a D.I.N.K. -- Double Income, No Kids."
The third bloke says: "Well I'm a R.U.B. -- Rich, Urban, Biker."
They turn to the woman and ask: "What are you?"
She replies, "I'm a W.I.F.E. -- Wash, Iron, F**k, Etc."
Make A Wish
A boy was walking down the road when he noticed an old geezer with an unusually small head. The curious boy walked up to the geezer and said, “Hey mister! Why the hell is your head so small?”
The old man looked at the boy and replied, “Boy, if I wasn’t so damn old, I’d give you a beating… but since you remind me of myself at your age, I’ll tell you.”
The boy listened curiously as the geezer explained, “One day I was fishing on the pier when I got a huge bite… And, I said to myself, ‘Holy sh*t! I’ve caught a whale!’”
“No kidding?” pried the boy. The geezer continued, “But, when I reeled it up, to my surprise, it was a gorgeous mermaid! Well, she looked at me in tremendous fright and said she’d grant me one wish if I let her free…”
“And?” interjected the boy. “Well, after some quick thought, I looked at her and said, ‘How about a little head?’”