Time For Dirty Jokes
Experience With Ghosts?
A professor at Auburn University is giving a seminar on the supernatural. Getting a feel for his students, he asks “How many of you believein ghosts?” About 80 of his students raise their hands.
“That’s a good start I suppose. Those of you who believe in ghosts, how many have actually seen a ghost?” About 30 students raise their hands.
“That’s good. I’m really glad you’re taking this seriously. Ok, has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?” About a dozen students raise their hands.
“That’s a great response. Has anyone ever touched a ghost?” Two students raise their hands. “That’s fantastic. But let me ask you one last question… have any of you ever made love to a ghost?”
One student in the back raises his hand. The professor is astonished. He removes his glasses, takes a step back, and says, “Son, in all the years I’ve been giving this lecture, no one has ever actually claimed to have slept with a ghost. Why don’t you come up here and tell us about it.”
The redneck student replies with a nod and a grin, and begins to make his way up to the podium. The professor says, “Well, tell us what it’s like to have sex with a ghost.”
The student replies, “Ghost? Oh… I thought you said ‘goats’!”
Religious Philosophies Of The World In A Nutshell
Catholicism: if sh*t happens, I deserve it.
Protestantism: sh*t won't happen if I work harder.
Judaism: why does this sh*t always happen to me?
Buddhism: when sh*t happens, is it really shit?
Islam: if sh*t happens, blame the infidels.
Hinduism: this sh*t happened before.
Hare Krishna: sh*t happens Ramah Lama Ding Dong.
Rastafarianism: lets smoke this sh*t!