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Short Dirty Jokes

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The Condom Conversation

A man walks into a drug store with his 8 year old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, “What are these, Dad?”

To which the man matter-of -factly replies, “Those are called condoms, son… Men use them to have safe sex.”

“Oh, I see,” replied the boy pensively. “Yes, I’ve heard of that in health class at school.” He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, “Why are there 3 in this package?”

The Dad replies, “Those are for high school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday and one for Sunday.”

“Cool, says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks, “Then who are these for?”

“Those are for college men.” the Dad answers, “Two for Friday, Two for Saturday and Two for Sunday.”

“WOW!” exclaimed the boy, “then who uses THESE?” he asks with bright eyes, picking up the 12 pack.

With a sigh, the Dad replied, “Those are for married men, one for January, one for February, one for March…”

Breakfast Is Kickin’

A little boy comes down to breakfast. Since his family lives on a farm, his mother asks if he has done his chores.

"Not yet momma," said the little boy.

His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores. Well, he’s a little pissed, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken.

He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig. He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal.

"How come I don’t get any eggs and bacon? Why don’t I have any milk in my cereal?" he asks.

"Well," his mother says, "I saw you kick a chicken, so you don’t get any eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so you don’t get any bacon for a week either. I also saw you kick the cow, so for a week you aren’t getting any milk."

Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat halfway across the kitchen. The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and says: "Are you going to tell him, or should I?"

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