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Funny Jokes Of The Day



A woman with triplets pregnancy is taken as hostage during a stickup at the bank. ...

A woman with triplets pregnancy is taken as hostage during a stickup at the bank. The robber shoots her three times in the stomach before he is arrested by armed police. Amazingly, the woman finds out all her babies have survived. She gives birth to 2 girls and a boy.

15 years later, she comes home from work to find her first daughter crying. When she asks her what's wrong, her daughter tells her she went for a wee and a bullet came out. She reassures her this is normal, and tells her the bizarre story.

The next day, she finds her second daughter crying, who also says she went for a wee and a bullet came out. Once again she tells the story.

The day after that, she finds her son crying, and asks him if he went for a wee and had a bullet come out. He looks at her confused and replies ''No - I was having a wank and I shot the dog!''



The President was out walking on a beautiful snowy day, when he saw that ...

The President was out walking on a beautiful snowy day, when he saw that somebody had urinated on the White House lawn to spell out "The President Sucks."

Infuriated, he called on the secret service to figure out who had done it. In a few hours, they came to him and told him that there was some bad news and some worse news.

"The bad news is that the urine is from the Vice President."

"Al? How could you do this to me? What could be worse than this?"

"The handwriting's the first lady's."



A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work for a construction crew. One day, ...

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work for a construction crew. One day, they were on their lunch break, sitting on a beam thirty stories high. They all note that they've had the same lunch for as long as they were on the job. They agreed if they opened their lunchboxes and found the same lunch, they would all hurl themselves off the beam.

The next day, the police are investigating the scene where the three women fell. When the police asked the husbands of the women, the brunette and the redhead's husbands both said, "If I had known, I would have given her something different." However, the blonde's husband said, "Don't look at me, she packs her own lunch."



The two most common things in universe are hydrogen and bureaucracy.

The two most common things in universe are hydrogen and bureaucracy.


The samsung galaxy note 7 is da bomb! ...

The samsung galaxy note 7 is da bomb!
Literally....
Oh SHIT! It went boom in my car!!!



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