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Archive for December, 2016

Shotgun Wedding

A couple goes out to dinner to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. On the way home she notices a tear in his eye and asks whether he is getting sentimental because they are celebrating 50 wonderful years together. He replies, “No, I was thinking about the time before we got married. Your father threatened me […]

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An elderly couple is sharing an intimate dinner in honor of their 75th wedding anniversary. The man says softly, “Dear, there is something I must ask you. It has always bothered me that our sixth child never quite looked like the rest of our children. Now, let me assure you these 75 years have been […]

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There was this couple who had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the old gentleman said to his wife, “Just think, honey, we’ve been married for 50 years.” “Yeah,” she replied, “Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together.” “I […]

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51 Days

Three blondes walk into a bar and ask the bartender for three shots of tequila. He looks at them and says “OK” and pours their shots. They all clink glasses and and yell, “51 days!” Then they proceed to slam the shots, looking very self-satisfied. They look back to the bartender and decide to order […]

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Where’s Your Ferrari?

“How long have you been smoking for?” the colleague asks. “Thirty years,” says the smoker. “Thirty years!” marvels the co-worker. “That costs so much money. At a pack a day, you’re spending $1,900 a year. Had you instead invested that money at an 8% return for the last 30 years, you’d have $250,000 in the […]

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