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Archive for September, 2015

An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor. “Doctor, I just can’t get to sleep at night.” “Have you tried counting sheep?” “That’s the problem. I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it.” Bookmark/Share: http://JokesAndSayings.net/Clean-Jokes

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A young woman is speeding down a freeway, when she is stopped by a highway patrol officer. The officer asks if he can see her driver’s license.   The woman replies angrily, “I wish you guys would make up your mind. Just yesterday you take away my license, and now you expect me to show […]

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What I want in a man

What I want in a man (age 22) Handsome Charming Financially successful A caring listener Witty In good shape Dresses with style Appreciates the finer things Full of thoughtful surprises An imaginative, romantic lover What I want in a man, Revised list (age 32) Nice looking – preferably with hair on his head Opens car […]

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Did you hear what happened to the optometrist? He fell into his lens grinder and made a spectacle of himself. Bookmark/Share: http://JokesAndSayings.net/Clean-Jokes

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AN OLD HOCKEY INJURY

Andy came to work one day, limping something awful. One of his co-workers, Josh, noticed and asked Andy what happened. Andy replied, “Oh, nothing. It’s just an old hockey injury that acts up once in a while.” Josh said, “Gee, I never knew you played hockey.” Andy responded, “No I don’t. I hurt it last […]

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