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Hear Me Moan?

From The Gloucester Citizen

A sex line caller complained to Trading Standards. After dialing a 900 number from an advertisement entitled, "Hear Me Moan", the caller was played a tape of a woman nagging her husband for failing to do jobs around the house.

Money Only, Thanks!

From the Churchdown Parish Magazine:

"Would the Congregation please note that the bowl at the back of the Church, labelled 'For The Sick', is for MONETARY donations only."

One Man's Cake Is Another Man's Poison?

From The Guardian concerning a sign seen in a Police canteen in Christchurch, New Zealand:

"Will the person who took a slice of cake from the Commissioner's Office return it immediately. It is needed as evidence in a poisoning case."

The Defective Detective In The Farce?

From The Derby Abbey Community News:

"We apologise for the error in the last edition, in which we stated that 'Mr Fred Nicolme is a Defective in the Police Force'."

"This was a typographical error. We meant of course that Mr Nicolme is a Detective in the Police Farce."

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